Checks and Balances.

I am very excited with the progress I’ve been making on Standing With Buffalo. I’m at the point where things are rolling along, slow but steady. I’m waking up at night with plot twists in my peripheral vision. I’m not convinced it’s a particularly interesting story, but…that’s probably not the sort of thing I should be admitting here. It’s a story that insists–to me, at least–that it has to be told, so let’s just run with that.

There are a multitude of challenges with writing. Anybody who’s ever written on any level knows exactly what I’m talking about. I was just kind of really figuring out my process with The Farmer’s Story, and moving forward with the next novels seemed certain. Then, you know, I got sick. Things got complicated. The side effects of the disease plus the side effects of my treatment plus trying to continue to write and maintain a waitress gig in the meantime…. It’s been a busy past ten months.
I’ve been fortunate to have a remarkable support system on every level. Husband, family, friends, co-workers, MSLifelines and my doctor and neurologist. I’m a lucky woman. I’m focusing on that today to distract me from a panic attack over some new symptoms that have been cropping up. It’s the nature of the beast, so…I don’t have much choice but to roll with it. I keep anal-retentive notes for the next visit to the neurologist. Try to get a decent night’s sleep from time to time. And focus focus focus on my intense good fortune.
Examples: Husband and I will celebrate our ten-year wedding anniversary in just about six weeks. He keeps me laughing, and makes me feel safe. We have a warm apartment and a needy kitty cat who knows what I mean when I invite her to spoon. I have an amazing Thister and mother and niece. I have dear musketeers and sweet friends. I currently have health insurance. My mother-in-law is my friend. My boss at the restaurant has worked hard to be flexible with my physical limitations.
I get dizzy, but I can still walk upright. My hands tingle, but I can still type. My vision gets blurry, but my laptop has spell check. There’s chocolate in the cupboard.
And I’m still writing. Checks and balances. Forward motion.

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