I’m a person who makes lists. It used to be because I love so much to cross things off, but as I age it’s more and more because I forget my tasks if I don’t write them down. Me and about a bajillion other humans on the planet, right?
My lists are heavy on my mind today after a dream last night. A bunch of weird awkwardness occurred including a part where I was driving through Denver drunk as Cooter Brown trying to find a new apartment to which Husband and I had apparently moved. Except I couldn’t remember where the apartment was or which unit was ours. It was all a big maze and I got lost in short order. I woke up frustrated and frightened, one of my least favorite conditions, and immediately began making today’s To-Do List.
- Mow the Yard
- Clean Bathroom Sink
- Sweep/mop Bathroom
- Sweep/mop Kitchen
Lists keep me focused. From focus comes motion. Forward motion!
Many years ago Husband told a member of our extended family we had received medical confirmation I have Multiple Sclerosis. This person, who I like to believe had good intentions, responded with a gasp and that face people make when they envision some crucial writing on a wall only they can see. “Oh you’ll never make it. Not together.”
Of course, when Husband told me I was incensed. Because well-intended or not, that’s a bullshit thing to say to someone who recently learned his wife has an incurable condition. And we were in love and I was full of hope we’d best this diagnosis together. I didn’t want or need any negative energy of any kind aimed at either of us. MS is scary enough without folks dooming our relationships.
My MS approach, and one Husband primarily supported, was to continue Life simultaneously in tandem with and despite the disease. That sounds great, but of course it’s been a rollercoaster challenge. But by and large I am incredibly fortunate. After a bad choice for my initial neurologist and a couple Rx protocols that did me more harm than good, I have a doc I trust. I’m on a drug treatment that seems to be holding this progressive brain eater at bay. I’ve tried to stay as physically active as I can, and I think that’s as important as the prescription part of it. I often don’t want to, and I’m often too dizzy to do so with much grace, but I try. Which is why I went out this morning and mowed the yard. And then basically immediately needed to nap (which was NOT on my list but sort of always an unspoken bullet point). As soon as I wrap up this soliloquy I’ll be doing the laundry. I also fully intend to tackle those floors before Husband gets home from work. Then I’ll probably be ready for bed by 7:30.
Of course, the longer I sit still to type the more my body parts start to freeze up and the longer my eyes take to focus and the more my persistent dizziness woos me to just go ahead and cuddle up on the bed with the GirlCats and Maude Dog. But the To-Do List! Don’t lose sight of the To-Do List!
And Husband just called to say he’s on his way home. That gives me a solid 35 minutes to sweep/mop/sweep/mop/scrub/load/and fold.
At least I mowed the yard.